“My Dear Table” – An Open Letter to the Tables of the World

I still remember the grammar classes in school, where we were taught how to write letters. Little did we know that by the time we considerably ‘grow up’, writing emails is going to be the ‘in vogue’ thing to do. Nevertheless, I did get a chance to write a letter, thanks to the Prompt for Day 5 – Write a letter, in the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6. So, I have quite been in touch with everyone I love (Yayy!!) So, my take on the prompt had me writing a letter to my Table.

It may sound unusual to you that I chose to write to an inanimate Table, but I have a bone to pick with it. This opportunity seemed the best suited for my catharsis on the pent up feelings I have for my table. I’m sure a lot of us will resonate with this, so I’m calling it an Open letter, & you may read it to your table as well.  😉

My Dear Table,

Hope this letter finds you in the best of health… though I’m the one responsible for it, but you know – Courtesy and Manners! Some ‘people’ still have it.

I have been meaning to write to you for a while, because it is quite apparent that the soft language like, ‘oh dear’ or ‘oh my god’ don’t seem to work on you anymore.

It’s even more appalling that ‘GAWWWDDD NO!!’ and the murmur of cusses under my breath is also as quite useless.

It has been as ineffective as pouring water onto an inverted glass.

So, I decided to have ‘The talk’ and honestly, I was surprised at how ignorant and blank you could seem. Are you so unaware of our difficulties and sufferings?

A simple nod and an apology would have saved you from being at the receiving end of this letter. So, I might as well enlighten you that you have inflicted this upon thy royal self.

You were carved out of a tree, decorated with embellishments and polished to look your best. But it is sad that you come with a class of arrogance that makes you stub my toe, dear husband’s toe & you won’t even spare the kids!

My tiny little squashy-sqwashy twinadoes! I think you can consider being a little tolerant to their punches and kicks. Where else should they practice? (definitely not on each other!)

You should also make a genuine effort in trying to be more considerate.

There are days when we are sleep-walking in the house into the middle of the night. One stub and the entire sleep goes for a toss! Who do you think is to blame for that? There are days when your wrath costs my toe to bleed and hurt for hours. And you stand there like an inanimate, staring back at me.

So I write this letter to give you one final Warning (read Threat!).

If you mess with us too much, we will give you to that raddiwala that you don’t like at all. He’ll divide you into bits and pieces. May be you land up at the roadside food truck.  They could chop vegetables on you day in and day out. We all know cutting on boards causes infinite shreds coming out and of the board.

May be that’s when you will consider wanting to come back to our house – but it would be too late.

So it’s important for you to REMEMBER who you messing with, dude!

Stop stubbing our toes, or Else…!

P.S. we are open to discussing this and one single apology can bring you back to being our favorite. You can enjoy us resting ourselves on you, decorating you with the world’s prettiest table covers and serving food over you every day! The choice is yours!

Yours Faithfully,

Mumma.

 

If your table has been giving you troubles too, SHARE the post with it!

Also, SHARE it with your friends so they can have ‘the talk’ with their table too!!

You may also like to read my blog for the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6 prompt for day 4:- Neha Agarwal – A peek into this Babychakra Rockstar’s Life

This blog is as per my participation in the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6 .

Write Bravely!