A Letter to My Children #LetsBlogWithPri
My Dearest Twinadoes,
I hope this letter finds you in the best of health and everything else! When I thought I should write a letter to you, in all honesty I was really confused. Sometimes I feel that I speak and connect with you all day, there is barely anything that I haven’t said to you. I hope you realize how I am so madly in awe of you – of how your eyelashes are so gorgeous, and how your hair is just a piece of cloud, how much I adore the zillions of kisses you give me every day and how it keeps me happy & alive.
But then I realized, there are so many things I haven’t said out loud – to you or to anyone else for that matter.
You know, IshMish, I am very scared, every single day. At least thrice a day, a “what if??” scenario goes around in my head. The worst things possible play in my head and I have to physically stop myself from overthinking imaginary situations. But I will not deny, the fear is real.
I am so, so afraid of what I see around me every day. Children getting lost, getting kidnapped, being assaulted, murdered, forced into inhuman jobs, and exploited. On the other hand, I see little happy kids growing up to become teens who do not say a word to anyone and take extreme steps – suicides, drugs, illegal activities, and incessant lifestyle disorderliness, all of it leading to disasters no one can compensate.
You know, my little, little babies, I wish I can protect you from all these evils. I know, I have been a rebel in my own time, and with the genes, I passed on to you, I do know my journey is far from easy. But I hope I continue to have this connection with you. May you always have a friend you can confide in, may you always have a confidant who will pull you out of an insane situation. May I give you the affirmation that you are loved, you are essential, and that your sheer brilliance and bravery will get you through even the hardest situations. May I be able to instill faith in God, and get you a righteous voice in your heart that is always with you.
When these thoughts come to my mind, I pray every moment, that may you two be enough for each other. May you always be half and half of my firstborn, instead of two different entities. May you always stick together and guide each other in hard times, even if parents feel like a far stretch.
I know, I’m thinking all negative here. But ask any woman grown up in India of the ’90s, she will tell you she carries each of these fears with her. Every time she steps out of the house, she is constantly vigilant of the people on the road, is someone following her? Is someone stalking her? why is the stranger approaching? Does he have some poisonous drug on the address paper he produced? We step out wondering if the person I’m talking to, the person I’m hanging out with, will be my murderer or my rapist? Will he kill me or leave me to die? And we will never say it, but we have questioned every single person we have seen in our entire life – from the rikshaw wala, to our boss, to our close relative or even friend.
I know this is a rather depressing letter. But you know, I say happy things to you every day and I feel that this side of me, these fears, are communicated too. So someday when I tell you that you can’t be out of home beyond 8 PM, you will understand. When I frantically call you and you see my missed calls, you will understand. When I check and taste everything that comes your way, you will understand. If I voice my concern over a certain friend of yours, you will understand. You will understand the fear behind these rational-irrational actions, and that this fear comes because I love you two more than my own being.
I hope, well in time, that God protects you even when I cannot, that your brother is always there for you, even when I’m not, That the voice in your heart is always right, and always protective of you, even when I’m not.
Maybe I will never hand you this letter, But maybe this space helped me vent out fears that all of us carry, but none of us talk about.
Take care, and always think before you act my little babies!
May you never grow too old to talk and connect with your Mumma!
I love You, and I can never say it enough times.
Lots of huge Hugs, Bro,
Your Mumma.
This Letter is a part of two campaigns. This is my blog entry for the #LetsBlogWithPri S2 week 5, and also an entry towards the Instagram campaign by Ashish from Pappablogs.
Hosted By :
Prisha Lalwani
Mummasaurus.com
IG: @mummasauruss
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About Author
mummasaurus
Wife to one, Mom to two and a friend to a hundred. Good, bad, awesome and horrible, all in one! Been through depression myself, I value the power of Entertainment and HUmor in our everyday life. That is why i choose to write about lighter, fun topics more than all the difficulties I went through! I'm Crazy Mom of Twin Boys, my TWINADOES - Chirag and Chitransh ...! Together we learn new things and explore new meltdown points of each other... I don't look for friends anymore, for I have personally given birth to my monster partners of Crime!!! A trained Counseling Psychologist by qualification, I am now a Quirky SAHM and a Creative Content Writer, whose world revolves around an awesome husband and 2 ruckus makers.
You know Prisha, as a mother of a 5 year old son and being pregnant again, I am scared too. With things happening around us, I have started to ponder that if my children’s future are going to be as safe and innocent as I grew up. Unfortunately, we need to live in this society where we have to do the beat we can and hope and pray that it ends well for our kids.
Nevertheless, I have to tell you that this is indeed a heartfelt note to your kids. Its not depressing at all. But I am sure when your children look back, they would understand your feelings for them.
Lots of love!
Could actually feel all that you poured out here! Wishing you and your family always the best.
Oh these are my thoughts like ever since my kids were born. I have lost a sister when she was 2 months. And coincidentally my hubby lost a brother when he was 5 yes old… So I’m pretty scared in case history decides to repeat itself. But yes cannot really put my fears onto anyone else.
This is such a relatable blog and I think I feel this at least once a day & everytime I hug them right thinking thwill soon be over …
Prisha too much worry is no good for mumma’s health. its good that you wrote them all down. I wish someday in future where everything will be safe for our kids you all might have a good laugh at this worrisome day you have had. I truly wish for things to become better and I trust every parent is doing their best to make them better version of future
For me the fear of my son getting lost feels very real. He has barely started understanding the world now and what if scenarios run through my mind too. I am sure when your twins grow up they will understand your fears and be strong enough to overcome any obstacles in their way.
In this current period raising kids is terrorism, lovely letter penned. Really scared , but at the same time raising a courageous child is our responsibility
Such a heart felt letter. I am sure your boys would cherish this lovely memory ❤️
Being a mom of any generation, it’s but default setup in our system to be worried for our kids. Till date my mom comes to drop me till the car/bus or whatever and did this everyday when I went to office (before marriage) and I also am the same. I cant think of getting mu kids out of my sight and weird thghts n things keep popping in my head when I dont see them for a second. It good that you vent out ur worries in this letter.
amazing love this